Friendships

Friendships can be our most enduring and important relationships. We can live without

lovers or spouses. We can live without our primary families. But most of us cannot live happily without friends. I believe that we choose our parents before we’re born into this planet, but we choose our friends on a more conscious level. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great American philosopher and writer, wrote an essay on friendship, calling it the “nectar of God.” He explained that in romantic relationships, one person is always trying to change the other, but friends can stand back and look at one another with appreciation and respect. 

When the bond between friends becomes strained, it may be time for mental housecleaning. 

Affirmations for Friends

See if any of the beliefs below are applicable to you and counter these negative thoughts with the corresponding positive affirmations. Make these affirmations part of your daily routine. Say them often in the car, at work, while looking in the mirror, or anytime you feel your negative beliefs surfacing.

• My friends don’t support me.
  My friends are loving and supportive.
  
• Everyone is so judgmental.
  As I release all criticism, judgmental people leave my life.
  
• Nobody sees it my way.
  I am open and receptive to all points of view.
  
• My boundaries are not respected.
  I respect others, and they respect me.
  
• I can’t keep friends for too long.
  My love and acceptance of others creates lasting friendships.
  
• I can’t let my friends really know me.
  It is safe for me to be open.
  
• I give my friends advice for their own good.
  I leave my friends alone. We both have total freedom to be ourselves.
  
• I don’t know how to be a friend.
  I trust my inner wisdom to guide me.
  
• I don’t know how to ask for help from my friends.
  It is safe for me to ask for what I want.
  
• I don’t know how to say no to a friend.
  I move beyond those limitations and express myself honestly.
  

EXERCISE: Self-Worth and Friendship

Friends can be an extension or a substitute for the nuclear family. There’s a great need in most of us to share life experiences with others. Not only do we learn more about others when we engage in friendship, but we can also learn more about ourselves. These relationships are mirrors of our self-worth and self-esteem. They afford us the perfect opportunity to look at ourselves, and the areas where we might need to grow. 

Let’s examine your self-worth in the area of friendship. Answer each of the following questions below. Then, write a positive affirmation (in the present tense) to replace the old belief. 

1. Do I feel worthy of having good friends?
Sample Answer: No. Why would anyone want to be around me?
Sample Affirmation: I love and accept myself, and I am a magnet for friends. 

2. What do I fear most about having close friends?
Sample Answer: I am afraid of betrayal. I don’t feel that I can trust anyone.
Sample Affirmation: I trust myself, I trust life, and I trust my friends. 

3. What am I “getting” from this belief?
Sample Answer: I get to be judgmental. I wait for my friends to make one false move so that I can show them that they’re wrong.
Sample Affirmation: All of my friendships are successful. I am a loving and nurturing friend. 

4. What do I fear will happen if I let go of this belief?
Sample Answer: I’ll lose control. I’d have to let people really get to know me.
Sample Affirmation: Loving others is easy when I love and accept myself. 

If we’re all responsible for the events in our lives, then there’s no one to blame. Whatever is happening “out there” is only a reflection of our own inner thinking.

Friendship Treatment

I am one with Life, and all of Life loves and supports me. Therefore, I claim for myself a joyous, loving circle of friends. We all have such good times individually and together. I am my own unique self; and I choose to only allow supportive, nurturing people in my world. Wherever I go I am greeted with warmth and friendliness. I deserve the best friends, and I allow my life to be filled with love and joy. This is the truth of my being, and I accept it as so. All is well in my friendly world.