7 Things You Can Do to Heal Sexual Repression

First of all, take this journey slowly and steadily. Remember that you are the

master of this ship – no one else is. Don’t jump to extremes and buy a bondage suit straight away (unless you feel ready). On the other hand, don’t leave this article resolving to do nothing for that would be even worse.

Also, none of these activities are compulsory: you are free to pick and choose as you wish.

1. Record your experiences in a journal or private diary.

Writing will help you to verbalize and process your sexual healing, as well as your beliefs and hidden feelings about sex in general. You may like to start off your journey with this activity and return to it every time you have a new experience.

2. Explore masturbation.

Masturbation elicits feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment within us. Thanks to religious thought, masturbation has been labelled as evil, wrong, or even dangerous (“Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten”), not to mention the fact that it is regarded as a “sin” that will land you straight in Satan’s lap. You may have even been punished as a child for fiddling with your male/female parts … all of these experiences combined don’t create a favorable image of masturbation in our minds. Unsurprisingly, these feelings and beliefs cause us to have a negative knee-jerk reaction every time we do “venture into the wilderness" because they are so deeply ingrained into us.

If you’d like to explore the philosophical/historical reasons behind demonizing masturbation, I recommend reading "Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation." Otherwise, I’d encourage you to have a long hard think about masturbation and why exactly it feels so “bad” or “wrong” to you. You may like to record your thoughts in a private journal as you do this.

When you feel ready, you may like to explore the “anatomy” of masturbation and how to enjoy and benefit from the experience. Otherwise, explore some relevant books  and some relevant online stores .

3. Learn to ENJOY sex.

Learn how to communicate your sexual desire.

If you have a partner, one of the most powerful ways to intensify your sex life is to discover what turns you on versus what is uncomfortable or annoying during sex. In order to communicate what arouses you, you need to pay attention to your body. Let sex become a moving form of meditation. Allow all of your thoughts to slip away as your awareness centers on the smells, tastes and tactile sensations of intercourse. Once you are aware of what is erotically stimulating to you, make sure you communicate that to your partner whether during sex, or in the aftermath. You may even like to show your partner where you like to be touched. Your partner will appreciate your assertiveness and confidence, and this will actually boost your sex appeal.

4. Allow yourself to feel desirable.

When we experience sexual repression it is common for us to feel undesirable, even ugly or unworthy. Thankfully this is a deception!You are as desirable as you make yourself regardless of your weight, or how many muscles you do or don't have. Feeling desire for another is really about connecting to their essence. If you are in a relationship, you may like to start by making eye contact with your partner while making love. Focus on the passion in their eyes and the way they look at you. Allow this to sink in.

However, the most powerful way to feel desirable is to respect andaccept who you are. Learning to love yourself is a wonderful place to begin accepting your sexual nature. Obviously, a part of loving yourself is practicing good hygiene, eating clean food, getting enough exercise, and sometimes even expressing yourself through the clothes you wear. Don’t be afraid to pamper yourself! Do whatever makes you feel sexy – mindfully of course!

5. (For women) try belly-dancing.

The undulating hip movements, the exotic music, the arabesque clothing … belly-dancing is a powerful way to reconnect with your femininity. As a woman who suffers from the Mother Wound, I initially cringed at the thought of trying out belly-dancing. “I’m not a dancer,” I first thought, “and besides, I’ll look ridiculous.” The truth is that belly-dancing was threatening to me because I had denied my femininity for so long, so I closed myself off to it with skepticism and negative self-belief. Be wary of this. While belly-dancing may not be for you, I recommend trying it out at least once (seriously) if you are a female.

The act itself of rotating the hips allows us to tap into our primal kundalini energy (which is by nature sexual). You may find that after one single session of belly-dancing you feel much more connected to your body. You’ll probably even find it to be a great workout, with the bonus of feeling like a goddess!

6. Express your sexuality through art.

We are all artists at heart, and art is ironically an expression of primal (or sexual) energy. We all want to create something, whether that is a child through sexual intercourse, or a painting through deep passion and inspiration.

There are many forms of art. I encourage you to explore a type of art that you’ve never tried before – but one that “attracts” you. How can you express your sexuality through painting, sculpting, drawing, writing, dancing or singing? It’s simple: focus on the untapped sexual energy within you and learn to channel it through what you do. You may even be overwhelmed by how much erotic force you have repressed inside. Just make sure that you take regular breaks, eat, drink and sleep. Sexuality can be a ferocious force when finally embraced.

7. Watch, read, go to …

If you’ve always had an interest in strip clubs … go! Allow the dirty and taboo element of such places to be explored consciously and thoughtfully. If you shy away from sex-filled dramas and movies, open yourself up to watching them. If you think you may enjoy erotic stories, experiment with reading a few. Slowly push the boundaries of your sexual experience and reflect on the impact they have on your life.

Something Final to Remember

Sexual repression doesn’t just disappear overnight (although that is certainly within the realms of possibility)! You may find that as you explore your sexuality you begin feeling comfortable with sex and your body … but then retreat and feel tense again after a while. This is OK and perfectly normal. You are slowly re-programming yourself to view sex in a healthy way.

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