How to Ground Yourself in Any Situation

1. Focus on your inhales and exhales.

You might have heard this advice over and over again ad nauseam … but don’t take it lightly! Focusing on your breath when learning how to ground yourself is one of the easiest and most immediate ways of centering yourself in the Now. You might notice that when you are frenzied or emotionally unstable your breathing becomes shallow and quick, stemming from the center of the chest. In order to ground yourself, consciously focus on each breath that you take, feeling your breathing deepening to the stomach.

You might even like to couple breath focus with conscious counting. For example, if you are in a particularly tense situation, allow yourself to stop and start counting each breath you take, e.g. “One, (breathe), two, (breathe), three, (breathe), four, (breathe), five (breathe) …” until you have grounded yourself again.

2. Practicing self-remembering.

We have been conditioned since birth to create, build and promote a certain image of ourselves to others. For example, your identity might be that of an autonomous, outspoken and successful business woman, or mine might be of a thin-skinned, artist who puts everyone first because that has been my self-concept since childhood. Whatever your image of yourself is, it is imperative for us to look beyond the veil of the self’s beliefs, memories, ideals, feelings, sensations and inner dialogues to the greater Self’s true nature.

Ask yourself, are you really something as finite, transient and changing as the feelings, thoughts, beliefs, ideologies and assumptions that arise and fade each day within you? Stripping away your identity, your body and your personalities which all strengthen and weaken, come and go, grow and die, brighten and dim, who are you? What remains?

Self-remembering is the practice of stopping yourself in any moment and asking, “Is this really me?” Once you learn that any situation, any person, any success or failure, any sensation is not really “you” and has nothing to do with who you really are, you can relax in the wholeness of your true Self. You can honestly realize that the nasty way your co-worker treated you, the failure of your exam, the pressure of having to make a good impression, all have nothing to do with “you” – only your fabricated identity which is subject to growth, change and decay.

3. Practice the “looking back” technique.

The looking back technique is very simple and works on the following premise: in 10-20 years’ time, will your current problem really matter? Most likely it won’t make much difference, and even if it does, has the problem permanently ruined your life? If so, you might like to reconsider what “happiness” and “success” mean to you and how they are helping or hindering you to live a fulfilling life.

The fundamental principle of life is that “everything will pass,” and so will your source of irritation, frenzy or anger.

4. Incorporate somatic mindfulness into what you do

Somatic mindfulness is best paired with focusing on your breath which helps to anchor you into your body. Somatic mindfulness, which is also known simply as “body awareness” helps to redirect the energy you are focusing on your thoughts, fears and emotions, to the sensations in your body. For example, when I’m feeling particularly ungrounded, I like to focus on my breath and roll my shoulders up and down. Focusing on my body in this way helps me to not only dispel somatic tension that tends to accumulate easily, but also to center myself in the present.

Other people like to scrunch their fingers and toes into tight balls and release them, clasp their hands together, stretch their limbs, and many other body-centered techniques that are grounding and centering.

5. Create physical distance

While walking away from a situation is not always possible, it is often extremely helpful to physically take a step back and wind down allowing your mind and body to process whatever has happened. Finding solitude in nature is a particularly helpful way of grounding yourself and reminding you that life is so much more than your fears and troubles. Making solitary time for yourself each day is a good way of bringing everything back into perspective without getting lost in the details.

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