3 Techniques To *LET GO*

Despite our wish to feel positive, happy and inspired… negative emotions regularly come

back to haunt us, as they keep being triggered by memories of past events:

Traumatic experiences... emotionally-tough periods... regretted past decisions... hurtful interactions... unsa- tisfied strong desires, etc. -- they can all keep us 
stuck in a place that we’d rather break free from.

This way, unprocessed experiences often adversely affect the way we show up in life.

And this can have far-reaching negative consequences in many areas of our lives – even those that are not directly related to the memory itself.

That’s why I’d like to offer you three methods today that can help you let go of any bad (hidden) memories that are wearing you down and keeping you stuck in life.

 Here they are:

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** METHOD #1: ** 
Focus on What The ‘Bad’ 
Experience Brought You

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Think of a negative experience that you feel hasn’t been processed sufficiently. Write it down in a concise description of a few sentences.

Next, take about 20 minutes for the next steps:

* First, take a couple of moments to think of the experience in question…

Initially, it might seem as though it didn’t have any positive effect whatsoever on you or your life. But guess what:

Even unfavorable events can ultimately bring beneficial consequences – things we can actually be grateful for! 
We just have to look for them.  

So try to focus on the positive side of the story and/or the benign consequences of your difficult experience, and write them down.

Ask yourself:

* What outcomes of this experience can I be grateful for right now?

Questions you can ask to come up with answers:

-- How did this experience contribute to your development as a person?

-- In what ways have you grown?

-- Have any particular personal strengths been developed and/or reinforced by this experience?

-- How has this experience enhanced your ability to meet future challenges?

-- How has this experience put your life in larger perspec- tive?

-- How has this experience contributed to better value the people who are truly important in your life?

Looking for things to be grateful for not only shifts your focus in regards to the experience itself… but what’s more:

It can also get some stuck inner energies moving again… which in turn can help you process and dissolve the negative emotional charge of the memory.

Which brings us to the second exercise…

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** METHOD #2: ** 
Create a ‘Closure Ritual’

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Research has demonstrated that by taking a deliberate effort to ‘complete’ a memory/period/experiencesymbolically, we’re also better able to put a 
definitive end to it psychologically.

As a result, our negative feelings about the experience demonstrably die down, and often even completely dieout.

We can do this by deliberately creating a ritual that’s designed to symbolically ‘conclude’ the event/memory/ period that’s wearing us down.

Here’s what you do:

* First, grab a pen and a piece of paper, and take little time to write down exactly which experience or memory you’d like to discharge and wrap up.

* When you’re done describing it, put that paper in an envelope and/or a box.

* To add some force to the exercise, add a few other items that symbolize this experience. (<-- Think of pictures, souvenirs, drawings, notes, etc.)

* Now seal the envelope and/or box.

This in and of itself might be sufficient to bring you closure. But if you feel you need some more, here’s 
a step you can add:

* Literally get rid of the envelope or box in a symbolic 
way. For example:

-- Burn or bury it.

-- Have a paper shredder have its way with it.

-- Personally deliver it to waste processing.

Of course, feel free to think of any other way to literally get rid of it, whatever ritual works for you.

Actually performing symbolic acts like these can help us gain emotional and psychological closure.

(By the way: they often work best when they’re repeated a number of times - like doing the same thing seven days in a row).

And that brings us to our third and final method for today…

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** METHOD #3: ** 
The ‘3-Letter’ Exercise

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This method works particularly well for experiences that clearly involve another person. For example:

* Someone who conned you out of a ton of money that left you bristling with rage and indignation…

* The death of someone you’ve never been able to mourn that left you consumed with unprocessed sadness and regret…

* The boss who unjustly fired you, which left you beside yourself with frustration and anger…

* Etc.

So here’s what you do:

Imagine the person in question would be with you for one hour, and think of what you’d like to say to him/her.

Find a quiet place and time, and write down everything 
that comes to mind in three different letters:

* Letter #1: Write down everything you would have wanted to say back then, or would want to say now.

For example:

-- Having been conned: You could write about your anger and the injustice in being hoodwinked, and how this has affected you and your life…

-- Having been fired: You could write about the anger and injustice you feel for being laid off and tossed aside like garbage. You may also include what you miss about the job…

-- Someone’s death that still bothers you: You could write about how much you loved them, or how much you hatedthem for that matter...

You can express your anger about something they did to you, or your gratitude for the good times you remember…

Please note:

There’s no right or wrong here. What’s important is to write down how you feel and what you want to say.

Don’t sugarcoat it – keep it real.

Once you're done, move on to the next letter...

 * Letter #2: Imagine the person would receive your letter. What would he/she probably say?

Keep in mind their personality:

-- If they were curt, their answer would probably be curt.

-- If they were nice and forthcoming, they’d likely come forward with an answer of that nature.

-- If they’d usually be defensive, their answer would presumably be defensive as well.

Please note:

If the person in question has an open character and your relationship with them was fine, then you may also skip 
this second letter and directly move on to the third...

* Letter #3: Write down everything you’d ideally like for this person to say in response to your first letter.

This letter is the most important of all three. Simply write down what you’d mostly appreciate hearing from them. 
For example:

-- The person who conned you might admit to being wrong and treating you unfairly (and whatever else you can think of).

-- The loved one who passed away might mention the good times they remember spending with you, how proud they are with you, and where and when they may have fallen short by not being there for you when you needed them.

-- The boss might apologize and say he/she didn’t realize he picked you, while you had plenty of colleagues with similar or worse performance.

He might also admit to having issues with assertive employees like yourself, which essentially doesn’t 
have anything to do with you.

Of course, only you can think of what you’d ideally like to hear from them…

Whatever comes to mind, write it down in this letter. And make sure you write it as though they are 
actually writing you.

Once these three letters are done, leave them for a while… a few days or so. This will give your subconscious mind some time and space to process whatever you’ve awakened through this exercise.

Then revisit them, and read them out loud – either to yourself or someone you trust who’s also a good listener.

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Please Note And Beware:

* All three of these exercises can sometimes stir up very strong emotion. That’s good, and nothing to worry about...

* Just make sure you give yourself sufficient time and space to do these exercises and process the emotions they evoke.

These feelings simply need to be processed all the way through:

The inner peace you desire is at the other end of them.

By the way:

* In case the resulting emotions turn out to be over- whelming and you have a hard time processing them...