I’m Nobody, Who Are You?

Our minds are so accustomed to gaining self-esteem from others that we find

this perfectly normal. Even though this is normal, it isn't necessarily healthy. Gaining our self esteem from others becomes an addiction, we constantly need doses of ego-boost to feel special.  Look through the following examples, and try to see whether you can relate to any.  Many of these are unhealthy and ingrained habits we tend to have:

• Checking our email ten times a day.  This becomes a habit in order to know that we exist as 'somebodies' in the eyes of others.  Also, many of us compulsively scan our Facebook pages in hope that someone may have Liked one of our photos, our latest relationship status or some witty comment we left somewhere. Twitter as well is the result of an egocentric culture.  It revolves around the notion that we're so special in the eyes of others that even 'going to take a pee' is worthy of praise and sharing to anyone who will read.

• Youtube, Reddit or any other community-type websites with open comment systems are similarly addictive.  They're addictive to those seeking an ego-boost dose from arguing.  Just look up any religious or anti-religious Youtube video and read the same repetitive cycles of arguments that go back and forth between people.  The end result is that these people feel the tingly goodness of being right and being 'somebodies' by proving how wrong someone else is.

• Conversations are the perfect opportunities to become a 'somebody'.  The topic of cars, for instance, might bring up the chance to feel that ego-boost by mentioning how marvelous your car is.  Or you may mention the quantity of girls you've been involved with, or an expensive and fancy trip you're planning in Asia.  We feel elated when we encounter someone who's unaware of a piece of information we posses - some kind of celebrity gossip, some piece of worldly news or historic trivia - we become the knowers, the informers, the bearers of light to their darkness.  None of this has any real value except that scrap of gratification you receive in the act, of not just being an ordinary 'nobody' but a 'somebody' that has tasted the finer things in life.

• Sports: the eternal dichotomy.  People identify themselves and their ego's with a team they've either inherited by birth from their family or country, or picked based on their environment and what others liked. Each supporter cheers for their team because with that teams outcome also rides as a bet an ego-boost dosage (to be part of the 'somebodies' who won).  However, in this case there's also the chance to have some dosage of self-worth removed from your system in the event of a loss in the match. In the best case scenario, 50% of the stadium will leave in mirth and joy at the cost of the other 50%'s suffering and dejection.

These are just some of the subtle ways we try to find our self esteem and self worth through our 'somebodies' ego. And it starts forming very early on in our life.  You must have seen young children shouting "look mum!Look at me!" trying to gain their parents attention when their parents are preoccupied talking to someone or doing something else.

http://lonerwolf.com/egocentric-self-esteem/